Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.
Matthew 7:24-27
Men, please hear me as I know this statement will catch some of you off guard or even trigger a negative reaction, but please hear me when I say, “stop trying to lead your family under your own power”. Men were never meant to be the stand alone leaders of their wives, children, finances, future, or anything else in which you can fill in the blank. Men were never supposed to be the leaders. This idea that “I am man” and that simply equates to “follow me” is the type of ideology and concept that has hurt so many marriages and children across our nation and the entire world. The Bible is clear that the husband is before the wife and that the wife and children should be submissive. The question is however, who is the man submissive to? Who does man follow as everyone follows him?
Stop trying to lead your family under your own power
Before full-time ministry, God blessed me with a phenomenal job where I was able to experience upper management and leadership opportunities for many years. I did many of the hirings and firings in that position. There were times where I promoted the right person and that good hire blessed everyone around them and there were also times when I made bad hires or promotions which impacted us negatively. There is nothing worse than having someone in leadership who is not supposed to be in that position. Having the wrong person in leadership not only affects that individual, but all of the people who are reporting to that individual. This is the story of man here on earth.
When it comes to men, our jobs are not to be leaders of our homes, but to be the main one guiding the people around us to the one who is leading our homes. In Matthew 7:24-27, we see text that many of us have read numerous times concerning the strong and weak foundations to build on. Jesus is finishing up His Sermon on the Mount and he concludes this phenomenal sermon with an illustration of how we are called to build our foundations on the rock, which is Himself. Jesus points out that for the man that builds their foundation on the rock or the sand, rain is still coming. Life will still find us. However, for the man who builds his foundation on the rock, his home will endure the rain and the storms. This is a wise man.
Now, where man has gotten himself into trouble is where we have bought into the lie that “man is the leader, that man is the rock”. Men throughout time have told their wives, children, and others around them whom they love and cherish that the best thing for them to do is to follow man. “Listen to me, build on me”.
Now, where man has gotten himself into trouble is where we have bought into the lie that “man is the leader, that man is the rock”
Just look around, it is not a shocker that so many of our marriages and families are struggling and falling apart. The divorce rate skyrockets, single-parent homes continue to grow, and man continues to disappoint. The reason for this is simply that men have been trying to lead something that they were never meant to be leading. The majority of us can barely take care of ourselves, let alone lead other people around us to the Promise Land. There has to be someone greater, wiser, kinder to lead the people we love. Here’s the good news for man, our Creator is gracious and is fully able to lead!
God is gracious and bears with us and gives us directives. God tells us that He understands the weight is too heavy to carry and He desires to bear that weight for us. Jesus is the leader of our marriages. Jesus is the leader in our homes. Jesus is the leader of our children. As men, our job is to guide the people that we love and cherish to the one who can lead us to the Promised Land. “Follow me as I follow Jesus” is our calling as men.
Here’s the good news for man, our Creator is gracious and is fully able to lead!
How do we do that though? Well in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us for those who follow my words are wise men, so exactly what are His words? There are two simple directives that I want to pull from in this sermon to help us guide the ones we love.
In Matthew 6:24, Jesus tells us to love and cherish Him first, nothing ahead of Him. Jesus gives us the illustration that man cannot love two things equally. Jesus calls us to identify for the people we love in life who is number one. Is it man, world, money, hobbies, or is it Jesus? Jesus calls men to submit to Him alone and to guide our family in showing them that we put Jesus first in our life. “Listen and trust me, as I listen and trust Christ”, is the calling of man.
The hard reality in most of our lives is that we are often actively guiding our family to other gods. I know many gifted and smart men who are guiding their families to the god of status. Or maybe we guide our children to the god of ball, activities, money, education, hobbies, or future careers. Here’s a test that many of us will never be brave enough to do in our life but I encourage you to do it. Ask your wife, or children simply, “What do you believe means the most to me?” The hard reality is that most of us at times are guiding the ones we love to the sand to build. We have taken the hand of our bride and children and lead them to the desert to build. Jesus tells us to love him first.
The hard reality is that most of us at times are guiding the ones we love to the sand to build.
Secondly, God calls men to encourage the ones around you to grow in Christ. I am a young man, but God has blessed me with 14 wonderful years of marriage and with four beautiful children. God has shown me the closer my wife grows in Jesus Christ, it is not only good news for her, but tremendous news for me. The same applies for my children. As much as I love my wife and children, the earthly version of them alone is nothing to be excited about. Me without Jesus, is no prize!! However, the versions of myself, wife, and children that are growing closer to Jesus is something that we should all cherish and want. I plead with you at the top of my voice, please do not ever be the stumbling block for your wives and children growing closer to Jesus. Please do not ever stand in the way of them growing in His word, spending time with Christian friends, going to church, or any other means of seeing Christ. I truly do not care what is in those woods to hunt, on the ball-field, or at that beach, nothing is greater than a family growing closer to Jesus Christ. Men do not lead the ones you love into what you believe is best, but guide them to the one who knows what is best for your family.
That famous verse that all of us know all too well, “For me and my house we will … what… serve the Lord.” Not, for me and my home we will follow man, listen to man, build on man. It’s never too late! Go to your wife, go to your children, go to your family and ask for forgiveness. Some of you might say, you don’t understand, I’m not just building in the desert, but I already have walls and a roof on the house that I built there. That’s fine as long as we fully understand that it’s going to be blown over by the storm. No house built in this world away from Christ will stand. It doesn’t matter if you are a few bricks in, or you have a five-story mansion. If you have led your family to the desert, that house will not endure. Repent, humble yourself, encourage your family to grow in Jesus, guide them to the one who leads you. Men who guide others to Christ are true leaders.
Blessings,
