Pastor’s Life: Tell me about your father…

This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God.

1 Corinthians 4:1

I was sitting with a man over a cup of coffee when he asked me a question that still weighs on my mind today, many years later. He asked me the simple question, “What was your dad like?” I remember responding by asking him to clarify exactly what he meant and the man asked me to paint a picture of what my father was like when I was young. He asked, “What did your father seem to care the most about, was he loving, what did he stand for?”  Was my father faithful, the man asked me. Did my love for the Lord begin by seeing my father’s walk with God? The man simply asked me to tell him about my father and what I experienced growing up with him.

As a father myself, this was an extremely heavy question; It did not just have me look back and think about how I viewed my own father growing up, but also how my children would answer that same question one day when it is asked of them. The truth is, there will be a day when all of my children will either be sitting at a coffee house, on a date, or driving with a friend and the question will be asked, “Tell me about your father”.

None of us are perfect and all of us have flaws and imperfections that our children see. I would not say to any parent that the goal of raising children is to paint an unrealistic picture of life, marriage, or yourself that is not accurate to the truth. Couples fight, life is hard, and we are all sinners. Our children can and will see this in our life. I would say, however, that this reality can be a great opportunity to teach and grow together.

Twenty years from now, my son will be asked about me and how I lived. What Hunter Jones, his father, was like. What I cared about most and to what did I gave the most attention. Someone will ask him if his father spent time with him and if I showed love to him and to his siblings. The question will be asked about how I loved his mother and if I lead my family closer to God. I don’t know when or by whom, but I do know these questions will be asked of all of my children sooner or later.

I found that I was more than just curious about what those responses might be; I was convicted that how I lived today would dictate what each and every answer out of their mouths would be. Then a greater question came to me, “Hunter, what would your children say now if they were asked about their father?”

In 1 Corinthians, Paul shows us how we should seek to be viewed by not only our children but the whole world. Scripture gives us the type of reputation we should desire. The Bible tells us there is no greater reputation than to be called a faithful, loving servant of God.

That a reputation of having wealth, popularity, or prestige does not compare to being known as a faithful man or woman.

As a pastor, I often get the opportunity to ask others about their parents and about how they were raised. I am able to be the one who asks the question, “Tell me about your dad?” Many times there is a quick pause and then a response that consist of, “My father was a hard worker” or “My mother always made sure I had what I needed” followed by stories of Tennessee football games and family vacations. When the moment hits them that their parent did not grow them any closer to the Lord than the strangers in their life, the conversation often comes to a close with the person ensuring me that their father was “a good man” or mother was a “kind woman”.

The problem with the answer resulting in any of us being “good” is that it is a lie. None of us are good. We are all sinners and fall short of anything even close to resembling “good”. This is why our reputations cannot rest on doing our best or our own efforts at all. A reputation based off of efforts alone will result in a shameful answer when someone asks those you’ve left behind about your life.

Without Christ, the best reputation I could hope for is for my children to say, “My dad lectured work ethic, loved to travel, and was a huge Pittsburgh Pirates fan.” They would most likely talk about how I loved to run and how much fun we had on the many trips we visited Disney. If this is how I am remembered, seen by my children, or spoken about at my funeral, how sad would that be?

Truth, some of us will be blessed with 80-90 years of life and it will be summed up with stories of hunting trips, ball games, and studying for spelling tests. This can not be how we are remembered!

Parent, I plead with you to listen! I beg of you to care about what is truly most important and to spend time where time should be spent. I have sat with many people as they reflected on their childhood and not once has anyone ever told me how thankful they were for all the beach trips and ground balls or that they had the best brands of clothes to wear in school. As your children get older, these things will not matter. They will be left answering a question about your life and what they saw that will consist of things cared for and pushed that were truly not life-changing or important.

Begin now building a reputation of being a loving, faithful servant of Christ.

Raise your children in the church, speak of God’s greatness at all times, pray, and read scripture together as a family. These are all things you can do. As a born again child of God, God has given you the ability to do these things and to do them well. The question is, will you prioritize this? Is this how you want to be remembered?

Continue to hunt, throw a ball with your kids, and study spelling words daily, I will. However, commit to never putting anything ahead of the Lord.

How incredible would it be if one day your son was drinking a cup of coffee with a friend and was asked about his father and his response was, “My father was amazing. My father loved us and poured into us daily how much we were loved, not only by parents but also loved by God. My father loved baseball, traveling, and running, but did not love anything more than Christ. Everything I am today was learned by what I saw in his life and his love of God.” How awesome would that be?

 

Blessings